The official TEABS survival guide
by junbug24
Summary: Now that you've finished Mockingjay, have you had any symptoms such as spontaneous fits of uncontrollable sobbing?   Hours spent staring blankly at a wall? See if you have TEABS and learn how to cure it.  Rated T for Drunk theme.  You know, safety.


**Okay, it's a drinking game... **

**I did not fully create this. Help comes from foreveryoungadult(dot)com  
They have some awesome blog posts for young adult readers. **

**This story is rated T because well... It's a drinking game.**

**Please enjoy! And please review!**

Now that you've finished Mockingjay, do you find yourself experiencing any of the following symptoms?

1. spontaneous fits of uncontrollable sobbing

2. hours spent staring blankly at a wall

3. an inability to converse about topics unrelated to Hunger Games

4. an extreme aversion to white roses

5. constantly referring to your pet as "buttercup"

If you meet any of these criteria, it is extremely possible that you have developed a serious case of The End of an Awesome Book Syndrome, also known as TEABS. And while this disease has the potential to cause massive amounts of damage to your heart, brain and what scientists like to call "human spirit", it is definitely treatable, if not curable. As a TEABS survivor, I'm here to tell you that it IS possible to overcome this tragic disease, which is why I've put together this guide of healthy tips and steps you can take to beat this sickness and reclaim your life! So take charge of your recovery and read on!

CONGRATULATIONS! By choosing to read this story, you just took your first step towards TEABS recovery. Pat yourself on the back, and remember: no matter how painful this road becomes, you will never be as messed up as Katniss Everdeen.

Since TEABS affects everyone differently, I urge you to choose the tips that work best for you. Feel free to tailor your therapy to directly address your severest symptoms, and if you think this means I'm giving you a free pass to drink excessively, you absolutely correct.

**There **_**Are**_** Other Books Out There: **  
Step 1: allow yourself to acknowledge that, in time, you will be able to love other books again. While nothing can replace Hunger Games, you have plenty of room in your YA-loving heart for more favorites.

Step 2: look in the mirror and tell yourself: "I am an awesome reader! And lots of books will appreciate being read by me!"

Step 3: wean yourself off HG carefully by choosing a highly rated book with a similar theme or character. For example, if you're still craving dystopia, give _The knife of never letting go_ or _The Enemy_ a try. If you need to connect with another lovable (…ish) heroine, go no further than _The Jessica Darling Series_. So don't worry, you can find plenty of new fish in the sea! In fact, consider YA book sites the eharmony of YA readership.

Step 4: if all else fails, reach out to the books you know best, the ones that have never let you down. Sure, re-reading the entire Harry Potter series may bring on a whole new bout of TEABS, but at least your conversational repertoire will expand to more than just Peeta vs. Gale.

**Part two: It Takes a Village**  
Step 1: Remember: YOU'RE NOT ALONE! There are plenty of others with TEABS. So, go on a chatroom, PM a random profile on Fanfiction. Give others your opinion on the books because YOU MATTER!

Step 2: after drying your collective bloodshot eyes, form a group hug and then buy each other shots of tequila and spend the rest of the night slurring to each other, "I luf you somuch. I would take yr plash inthe hungrames in a HEARBEAT!"

**"YAngelism"**  
Step 1: harness your TEABS angst and transform it into raw energy. I recommend meditation, red bull or plain old fashioned hard drinking.

Step 2: target a friend or loved one who has not yet read the hunger games.

Step 3: unleash your energy upon him/her in the form of incessant references to HG until he/she finally breaks down and reads it.

Step 4: realize that you're actually spreading TEABS instead of curing it, but hey, misery loves company!

**Candy Is Dandy. But Liquor Is Quicker!**  
Who am I kidding; this isn't your last resort. This is probably YOUR FIRST RESORT. And for good reason, because ALCOHOL WORKS. Sure, it may send you straight into a tragic, cardboard housed existence on the streets. Not to mention the potential for liver damage, but for now, nothing matters except NUMBING THE PAIN OF TEABS.  
(An example:_ "OMG! I CAN'T BELIEVE FINNICK IS DEAD! SOMEONE STAB ME IN THE BRAIN WITH A TRIDENT AND MAKE IT STOP!")_

**Step 1: Even though he may kill you for it later, steal your favorite drink from Haymitch and keep near by for easy access.  
**

**Step 2: drink every time you:  
**Say the word "Mockingjay" (look, you want this therapy to be effective, right?)

ask a random person (or someone you know) if they've read the hunger games

Google mockingjay, Katniss, Gale, Peeta or "fourth hunger games book"

post a review on a story about mockingjay or that's talking about mockingjay

**Step 3: take a shot every time you:  
**compare the real world to Panem

blame your problems on President Snow

consider signing up for archery lessons

purchase a piece of HG merchandise

**Step 4: chug every time you:  
**Write a Fanfiction about mockingjay or any of the books.

act like a jerk and then tell people it's because you were "hijacked"

dream about naming your future child after an HG character

* * *

And now, to borrow a page out of the _It Takes a Village_ section, I invite you, dear readers, to share your own struggles in the reviews. Have you found a way to cope? If so, please offer up your own TEABS survival advice and encouragement to your fellow sufferers.

Because together, WE WILL SURVIVE.

(Even if our livers don't. but hey, if Katniss can survive without a spleen, surely we… OH CRAP….)

**(A/N) Wow, that was a lot of cugging and drinking for me. ;)  
I hope you all enjoyed! And remember, this is just a thing made for fun and laughs (So, no need to be getting drunk with Haymitch!). Now, see right there? That little shiny button, right under this. that thing says 'review'? Yeah, click on it. It will make my day. **

**~Junbug**


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